This phenomenon has been getting a lot of attention online lately, and I just felt the need to share how it will probably do you more damage than good. For those of you who doesn’t know what negging is, it’s basically when men try to insult women as a way to pick them up. The thought behind this dumb theory is it plays on the women’s vulnerability, who will spend the rest of her night (or God forbids, longer than that) trying to seek approval from the man, or for those with a little more pride, to prove him wrong.
First off, if you are a man who thinks this is a good idea, you have a bigger problem than not being able to find better ways to pick a woman up. Playing on her vulnerability is a GIGANTIC sign of insecurity on your part, because you feel that you need to put her down first. I mean, playing with women’s vulnerability of all things, you cannot go much lower than that. Go fix your own life first, before you even try to criticize anyone else’s.
This comic strip says it all.
And while we’re at it, let me also reveal to you what happens if you somehow make negging works. The chances are, you will either get a needy, insecure wreck, or a girl who is way too good for you and dump your sorry ass after the fun is over. Let’s start with the insecure one.
You insult her. While she is hurt, she also feels that if she can convince you otherwise, her problem is fixed. Whether you guys eventually go on to have a proper relationship after this or not, it still doesn’t change the fact that she will always look for your approval because your dumb radar picked up on her insecurity that first night.
The second type is the kind who almost finds it hilarious you somehow manage to find something about her to criticize. She finds you funny, and you guys have a good time for a while because being a catch, she has never heard of people trying to deflate her before and she has enough sense of humour to laugh about it. The guy, not knowing how he actually got her, gets cocky and continue to be an arrogant bastard, which gets old. Remember, she’s only with the guy for the novelty which runs out. Guess who has the last laugh?
Now what is a good way then to pick a girl up? Try being honest. If you are looking for something casual, don’t try to act like you’re a boyfriend material, and if you are looking for something serious, don’t try to be a playboy. And smile, plus free drinks never hurt. It shows that you do want to spend some time with her, that you’re somwhat invested, and that she’s not just one of the bunch of girls you are going to try and hit on.
The Wednesday Blues. 