Hindsight is always 20/20.

30 03 2012

Not long ago, I was thinking how hard living in the real world is. Looking back, high school life and even university life seemed so much simpler, lighter, and don’t hate me for saying this, but easier. But the truth of the matter is, anyone who thinks that way just forgot what life used to be like when they were younger. You know those annoying people who deserves to get spit on, who genuinely think that they are busier than you? That is exactly who you are acting like, only instead of putting more importance on your tasks, you’re putting more importance on your present self. Not much more likeable than the first, to be honest.

Maybe it’s laughable now, how I used to resent the world just because I had to take Physics class when I thought I was done with my science credits, or how my friend got mad at me because I got a part in the school play and she didn’t, or when I got kicked out of school. Looking back now, they’re merely a good story if even that. Well to be honest, I still can’t laugh about how I got kicked out of school, nor would I ever admit that to anyone, but I am honestly saying that as bad as the situation was at the time, I do not feel that I’m at a worse place now because of what happened.

So even though it feels like my world just took a turn for the worse, I need to believe that one day, I will be able to say the same thing about my current situation. Not to say that I’m going to go without a fight though, because everything is at stake here, and I mean everything. I will hold on to my chances purely with my teeth if I have to. Just you watch.


Risotto with Olé Caliente.

26 03 2012

I haven’t been sleeping well lately so I was hoping to sleep in a little on Saturday morning, since no one has to get up early to go to work. Anyone wants to guess what time I woke up on Saturday? 8. Anyone wants to guess why? “Can we make risotto today?” said my boyfriend as he hugged me from behind.

Now, since I’m such a light, picky sleeper, I’m usually very unhappy when I get woken up. However if I were to get woken up this early on a Saturday morning, this was the way. I mean seriously, how cute is that?

This was my first time making risotto, and I used the Bacon and Corn Risotto recipe by Deanna’s Daughter, which turned out amazing. I might even go as far as calling it the best risotto I’ve ever had. I did make some changes from the recipe though since we didn’t have white wine, but I saw on other sites that I can substitute it with a mixture of water and lemon juice, which is what I did. I also omitted carrots just because I was running out of time and chopping it would have slowed down the whole thing. The recipe said no salt needed, but I kept tasting it and I felt like it could use some seasoning, so I have added in a generous amount of salt, pepper and consomme. And instead of the usual arborio rice, we used short grain brown rice which came out great. It was a lot of work though, with constant stirring on the super hot stove for a very long time. It definitely won’t be something I would make regularly.

As for the fish, I tried the garlic butter shrimp take on Tilapia, a recipe from here. It wasn’t bad, but I probably wouldn’t be making it again. Though I cannot tell you enough how proud I am of the risotto. Yum.

For dessert, I tried to make key lime pie, which is my boyfriend’s sister’s favourite dessert. Now, I have never tried it before so I had no idea what to expect, but I used the award winning recipe from here, though with the moderation other reviewers gave in the review section.

Post-baking (this picture is pre-baking), it looked more like a cheesecake, but I think it came out okay. Like  I said, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but both my boyfriend and his sister had two slices each which is good? While I won’t be repeating this recipe, I could definitely use some right now.  A little too acidic for my liking though.

And this is my nail colour for the week, Olé Caliente from Essie (along with the super cute pug sticker I have on my laptop). This is actually what it looks like after only one coat, after me slaving away in the kitchen cooking and cleaning up. I’m pretty impressed, even though colour wise, I was hoping something a little more hint of pink and orange.

Have a wonderful week!

To Pob or Not to Pob.

21 03 2012

My hair is getting very long. Like, at the mid point of my back long. Like this long:

Sent to me by my friend, not quite sure from where.

She makes it look good though, and I agree that for the most part it’s not an entirely terrible look. But for the longest time I have been dreaming of a big hair cut to drastically change my whole look, and what I wanted was the Victoria Beckham style bob, aka, Pob.

Seriously how cute is that? The good thing with this style is that she rocks it as a brunette and as a blonde, so it kind of guarantees that regardless of your hair colour it could look good. But then again she’s drop dead gorgeous so even if her hair is blue, it would still look amazing.

But here are the reasons it might not be my best look:

  1. I have chubby cheeks. Up until now, I have told myself that I would give short hair style a try when I hit my ideal weight, because I just think it looks better on a slimmer figure. But then I realize that my chubby cheeks will probably always be there no matter how much I weight, and with this hair style, it will definitely make my face look rounder.
  2. I have a snobby look – I have been told that if I don’t smile, I look extremely unapproachable. This is one of the reasons why I always keep my hair long because it adds that feminine softness to my look, making me look friendlier. I don’t know if I want to scare people off with my look alone.
  3. On a related note, I don’t think it’s the look for happy smiley people. I mean imagine getting your pictures taken, you can’t exactly smile brightly with this hairstyle, that would just look odd.
  4. The annoyance of styling. I hardly brush my hair on a daily basis, so I don’t know if I want to spend every morning styling my hair.. Not to mention the occasional trimming required to keep the style.

I think I’m better off with long hair… Although I do need to get a new hair curler since my beloved roommate, aka, my live in boyfriend somehow dropped it and broke it. He better pay for me new one and hell yes, I am making sure I get a fancier one! Any recommendation?

Ghost of Boyfriends Past.

19 03 2012

How often do you guys think of your exes?

I hate to admit it but apparently a lot in my case, and I’ve been trying to figure out what that means. Does it mean that I’m not over them, despite how happy I am in my current relationship?

But then again, it’s all about the technology, I guess. Facebook does the most amazing job of reminding you of them, and just because the exes are no longer in your life, it doesn’t mean that they don’t pop up on your newsfeed from time to time. In my case it’s even worse because many of them have previously “poked” me, so whenever the poke history comes up, I’m reminded of them. This makes a whole lot of sense since the one guy I hardly think about is my very first serious boyfriend who pretty much cut me out of his life.

Remember how it was like in high school? That’s when I met him and boy, was I smittened! It sounds so stupid now but he was up there on the social hierarchy and it was kind of a big deal to be seen with him, let alone date him. After a few months of being friends (and that alone pissed off a few girls already), he took my first kiss. I remember I was like “um, why are we doing this?” and he responded with  “because you’re my girlfriend now!‘. Yes, he actually said that, and yes, it actually worked on me, because I just shrugged and went with it. Believe it or not, this is going to be a repeating pattern for years to come..

Anyways, this ended up being my longest relationship to date, but it was a really unhealthy one which ended terribly. He ended up being overly controlling, irrationally possessive, and just abusive on so many levels. I remember when we graduated high school and it was time to decide whether I wanted to go to my first choice university, or to follow where he was going, and I picked my university which he reacted badly to. I thought it was time to end the relationship, but like many times that I have previously suggested it, he sweet talked me out. That’s not even the worst part, because this is his exact word “now that I’m letting you go to your choice of university, you have to listen to everything that I say”. Did I tell you how controlling he was? I was desperate to go to my pick of university so I agreed to it dumbly just to shut him up.

I’m not even going to go in to details about what happened with us. He got too much (I kid you not, he was capable of being worse than that), but he wouldn’t let me break up with him that in the end I cheated on him to have a valid excuse to get out. Even then he was willing to overlook it (or so he claimed), but I was done. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. For a long while, I was seriously concerned that he would one day show up unannounced to hurt me, I’m not joking. It took him a while but he eventually left me alone, wiping off all of my traces from his life, including from our friends, who I have lost touched with after he told them all about how I betrayed him.

If you guys are curious as to how he’s doing now, I think he’s doing fine. After about a year or two after we broke up, I found out he’s dating someone, who goes to my university! What a small world, huh? I have lost touched with most of my friends from high school which is sad, but I guess it’s not too much of a loss if they didn’t bother to hear my side of the story before deciding to take sides. The very few friends that I still talk to wouldn’t do it publicly just to avoid any drama from my ex, which I respect. Though according to them, talking about me in front of him is still a taboo subject.

You know what, I know why I keep thinking about my exes! Because we all left things on bad terms, and I actually want to be back in their lives to make sure that we are civil. I want to say I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry we didn’t work out, but I hope you are happy. I hate the idea of someone wishing that I have never entered their lives. Is that so much to ask?

Hypocritical Flashbacks.

18 03 2012

The first time I saw him, we were outside our lecture hall back in college, waiting to get in, but we didn’t talk or anything. Once we got in and half way through the class, the professor made us do some group work and it turns out that he was sitting close by, so around 5 or 6 of us were in the same group discussing. The term went on and we grew closer – we would walk back to our dorm together after class, we would save the other one a seat when we get to class first, those kind of things. We occasionally hung out outside of class, and have met each other’s friends but in all honesty, the course was what kept us in each other’s lives.

You know how it is in college, people tend to skip classes, a lot. We were no exception, especially since the actual course was such a bore. One time, I uploaded bunch of pictures on facebook, and he was in the album, with the caption saying “the reason I still go to class”. Now, he had a girlfriend at the time (whom I have never met because she was on exchange), and I was also seeing someone as well, so I didn’t think much of it. Our relationship has always been platonic and really, it was based on a course that we were both taking. I found out a few months later though from his friend whom I also knew (though not through him), that his girlfriend wasn’t happy with me. My first reaction was “huh?”.

I asked around my friends to see if I was being insensitive or not, and I got mixed responses. Friend 1 said I was absolutely crazy to say things like that about someone else’s boyfriend (um excuse me, I clearly mentioned the nature of our relationship in that little caption. Hell if anything that caption made our relationship sound more innocent). Friend 2 said that since I didn’t know the girlfriend, maybe I shouldn’t have broadcasted how fond I was of this guy (fair enough, but I still didn’t think what I said was that scandalous). Friend 3 was totally on my side, and said that only insecure girls would be threatened by that (although now that I think about it, they were doing long distance relationship so maybe any girl she didn’t know were somewhat threatening?).

Anyways they broke up soon after so that’s irrelevant now. The reason I am writing on this now is because maybe, perhaps, I might actually understand where this girl is coming from! Sometime last year, I was already with my current boyfriend, and he was visiting his hometown, hanging out with his old friends I’ve never met. I’m not usually the jealous type but I saw on facebook a post that he was tagged in, that says something like “looking forward to partying with my two boyfriends tonight!” then she tagged my boyfriend and another guy.

Now, I know this is some inside joke or whatever, I am not accusing her of any mistressing of any sort, but ISN’T IT A LITTLE INSENSITIVE calling someone else’s YOURS??? Yes, the fact that she tagged another guy helped a bit, but I felt like she was marking her territory or something, like she knows the him that I didn’t.

So this is me tasting my own medicine and feeling terrible about what I did. People say it all the time how you should put yourself in other people’s shoes, but really, just thinking about it for few seconds is not enough. Seriously consider how you would feel, because boy it’s not fun admitting to it few months later.

Sweet Craving.

13 03 2012

I know this is not wheat free, BUT it makes up for it by being super healthy (anything with this many apples in it is healthy!) and amazingly delicious.

I have quite a bit of time to myself this weekend, and the apartment to myself. With constant sweet craving, I decided to do some baking, with basic ingredients I can find around the house. Now, I have used the recipe from Smitten Kitchen before (chocolate wafers, featured here) and I liked it, so I gave another one of her recipe a try, this time with Mom’s apple cake.

What I changed here is that I halved the recipe since I didn’t have enough flour, substituted vegetable oil with olive oil, and orange juice with apple juice, just because that’s all we had. And I didn’t use any nuts, just because. I also added a splash of rum for that extra kick. Oh and I used a normal cake pan since we didn’t have anything fancy.

The finished product, which smelt soooo goooooood! The cake came out dense with crispy crust, but slightly gooey yet crunchy with the apple, which is such a good balance. Just the right amount of sweetness, with a hint of sourness with the apple, it’s the kind of sweetness that doesn’t sicken you even after a while. Almost a guilt free kind of delicacy.

The only problem for me though, is that it didn’t come out pretty, which is why this picture is a close up. When I baked it, I sandwiched the apple chunks in the middle which I guess couldn’t hold the cake together in one piece? So when I flipped it the cake pan, my cake gracefully (not) split in half. I don’t know if it was because I used too many apples (I used 4 instead of 3), or I chopped them too big, or because they weren’t spread out enough in the batter.. Good thing it’s all for me, because I wouldn’t serve that to anyone, however delicious they were.

I made this Saturday I think, and I have been eating it for three days straight, and I want to make another batch – it was that good. And they’re still good overnight (or apparently better overnight)! I will definitely be making this again.

Why negging is not the way to go.

12 03 2012

This phenomenon has been getting a lot of attention online lately, and I just felt the need to share how it will probably do you more damage than good. For those of you who doesn’t know what negging is, it’s basically when men try to insult women as a way to pick them up. The thought behind this dumb theory is it plays on the women’s vulnerability, who will spend the rest of her night (or God forbids, longer than that) trying to seek approval from the man, or for those with a little more pride, to prove him wrong.

First off, if you are a man who thinks this is a good idea, you have a bigger problem than not being able to find better ways to pick a woman up. Playing on her vulnerability is a GIGANTIC sign of insecurity on your part, because you feel that you  need to put her down first. I mean, playing with women’s vulnerability of all things, you cannot go much lower than that. Go fix your own life first, before you even try to criticize anyone else’s.

This comic strip says it all.

And while we’re at it, let me also reveal to you what happens if you somehow make negging works. The chances are, you will either get a needy, insecure wreck, or a girl who is way too good for you and dump your sorry ass after the fun is over. Let’s start with the insecure one.

You insult her. While she is hurt, she also feels that if she can convince you otherwise, her problem is fixed. Whether you guys eventually go on to have a proper relationship after this or not, it still doesn’t change the fact that she will always look for your approval because your dumb radar picked up on her insecurity that first night.

The second type is the kind who almost finds it hilarious you somehow manage to find something about her to criticize. She finds you funny, and you guys have a good time for a while because being a catch, she has never heard of people trying to deflate her before and she has enough sense of humour to laugh about it. The guy, not knowing how he actually got her, gets cocky and continue to be an arrogant bastard, which gets old. Remember, she’s only with the guy for the novelty which runs out. Guess who has the last laugh?

Now what is a good way then to pick a girl up? Try being honest. If you are looking for something casual, don’t try to act like you’re a boyfriend material, and if you are looking for something serious, don’t try to be a playboy. And smile, plus free drinks never hurt. It shows that you do want to spend some time with her, that you’re somwhat invested, and that she’s not just one of the bunch of girls you are going to try and hit on.