Sh*t you SHOULDN’T say to people when they’re upset.

17 04 2012

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“It’s just not meant to be.”

“Trust God, he has it all planned out for you.”

Or any other cliche stuff, stfu. For one, if I’m upset about something, the last thing I want to hear is that there is nothing I can do about the situation. That is the excuse of the weak, of the lazy, or of the loser, who just admits defeat. You are basically telling me to accept it because this is what the higher power planned for me? Screw that. You are basically telling me to give up! AND FOR TWO, come up with something more original please, is my sorrow not worth you thinking of something heartfelt to say? Oh and three, don’t bring God in to this.

For the record, yes, I do believe that in some cases, accepting it might be the best way to handle it, but that is not always the solution. I want to believe that hard work really can get you somewhere, and that your attitude and action really can make a difference.

“Aw. But at least your problem is not as bad as mine.”

EFF YOU. (I know, I sound really angry in this post huh.. But seriously imagine someone saying this to you?) Don’t EVER say this… SO wrong on SO many levels! Don’t ever think that you’re having it harder than everyone else, you have no idea what is going on in their lives. Believe it or not, one of my closest friends said this to me and it was just heartbreaking. Similarly, “I totally know how you feel. When blah blah blah happened to me…” is also bad. Don’t make this about you.

“You’ll get over it.”

No, you don’t know that, because some things, you really will never get over. Don’t say something you don’t know for sure.

“No one said that life was fair.”

Way to kick a girl when she’s down.

You know what are some of the safer alternatives?

“I am here for you, whatever you need.” 

By focusing on the support you can give them is a good way to remind them that they have you, without being overbearing. And because it’s something you can do for them, as opposed to you trying to make them believe in something, or act in certain ways. “Do you want a hug?” is also good.

“It will get better.” 

And it will, though it’s important they know that by “it”, you mean  “life”, and not necessarily this particular situation.. When things get bad, you always feel that you can’t get back up, but life will not always be bad. The sad news is it will not always be good, but at least you’ll have your happy moments.

Other than that, helping them focus on the positives, or to temporarily get their minds off it is always good.

On a personal note, my camera just broke! Which means no more of my personal photos in cooking/baking/fashion for a while. I’ve been using my phone to capture shots lately but I don’t know how good it will be uploaded here..

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